" Step Parent"...I seriously hate that word!

 I know in the past I have written a few things about being a 2nd parent to our daughter Kaili. I recently read an article over the weekend that a Mom wrote on face book about how she appreciated her daughter's " 2nd Mommy" being with the both of them on the daughter's first day of school. There is a picture of the two Mom's holding the little girls hand walking her into school. This face book post went viral and there was a lot of comments regarding the post. A lot were good and some were so ridiculous I can't even repeat them. From the moment I first met Kaili, I knew I wanted to be that kind of " other " mom. I wanted to be at her wedding day, with Kaili in the middle of her mom and I holding each of our hands, and all 3 of us smiling from ear to ear.

 I understand that EVERY situation is so completely different for split families and co-parenting. I do, I totally get it. But do you know what else I understand? That LOVE is always the same. No matter what your situation, Love does not and should not change. A child or children involved in divorce have no fault in the situation. I do not care if they throw fits half the time, or talk back or are so hard sometimes you want to scream. Divorce is not the children's fault. Now, am I saying to just let them behave however they want? Of course not, they still need to follow the rules of the home they are in etc, I am just saying we as adults need to learn how to teach them that they are loved no matter what.

 I remember clear as day when I met Kaili. She had cute pig tails, and a shy smile. She sat next to me and played with all the fun things I had in my purse. The next time I saw her she sat on my lap, she was beginning to trust me.  It was 10 months before Ty and I got married, right before Kaili's 2nd birthday, and all on her own, she started calling me " Mom" at first I admit I was so nervous that this would cause problems. No one referred to me as mom around her, they would say " Go give this to BreeAnn" or " Show BreeAnn" all on her own she started doing this. Did her mom like it at first? Nope. Not at all. It actually was quite the issue.  The first year we were married Tyler and his ex-wife argued about things quite a bit. I would sit there silently listening, feeling a little piece of my heart break each time they spoke. This was not the life I wanted Kaili to grow up with.

One night  I took the phone from Tyler and flat out said to his ex-wife" We want Kaili to have the kind of life, where she is surrounded by love, from us, from you and your new husband, from our extended families and friends." I want Kaili to know and to feel that when she is in our home, she is not visiting as a visitor, she is just coming to her other house. I want to treat her as if she were my own daughter, however knowing that she is not. Kaili calls me mom and her other dad Dad, yet she knows Tyler is her " real dad" and her mom is her " real mom". For Kaili because she was so young, the transition of that was easier. I am not saying in everyone situation that a child has to call their step parent mom or dad. No, in most cases it works for the other parent to just be called by their first name.

 I told Kaili's mom that we were going to be in each others lives forever, because I am the kind of person who will be there for Kaili's dance recitals, concerts, softball games, anything we can make it to, we will.And from that point on we had a turning point in our relationship. Is it perfect? Um, no. Do we still have disagreements and things that need to be talked out? Of course. But Kaili her whole life has had NO Clue about any of those things. Because we made the mature decision to not argue about her in front of her with each other, and to make sure she knew she was loved, cared for and important.

 People, from this article I mentioned earlier were saying things like " It is not that step-parents right to come to dance recitals, first day of school, parent teacher conferences etc" And that just blows my mind. Not their right? For the person who is married to the child's father or mother. Who is in love with the person who helped create this innocent child.  That makes no sense. I would feel so sad, if I couldn't be a part of all of Kaili's activities, and accomplishments. I will drive up to Brigham City by myself for things if Tyler can't come and sit right next to her mom and other Dad. I have no problem doing this, because I know it benefits Kaili.

 My parents and siblings have loved Kaili since day one without any hesitation, just because I didn't birth her, it did not matter to them. She has grown up with my brothers twins whom she is only a couple of months apart from them. They are all her cousins, not her " step cousins" what a stupid word in my opinion.  I am not saying that having a split family is a walk in the park, because it's not. I have had to lock myself in my room and cry it out, because things have been so frustrating, I have had to watch my husband, have his heart twist into a million tiny pieces as we would go see Kaili at her dance recitals and school things when she was younger, to have to leave while watching Kaili cling to her other dad, and go home with him. But Tyler never broke, do you know why? Because he knows that Kaili's other dad is a good man, he takes care of  Kaili, when Tyler can't be there. And we would much rather be at peace knowing Kaili is in good hands when she is not with us, then having to worry otherwise.  Kaili has chores when she is with us at our house, she has expectations that have to be met, just as she would otherwise. Tyler and I are so far from perfect in our parenting, but we do try the best we know how.

I have had to work really hard in my relationship with Tyler's ex-wife to not step on toes, but also have a voice for Tyler. Now some of you may be wondering, " Why does BreeAnn talk so much to Tyler's ex wife instead of him?", the answer is that because for us it just works better that way. I realize for some people it may not work better to have a 3rd party in the conversation and that is fine. Tyler and his ex, just prefer to have me talk to her, and to keep the peace I am happy to do it. I think everyone needs to find their way that works and stick with it.

 I never want Kaili to feel that I did not love her throughout her life. I want her to feel validated and important, and taken care of. I want the relationship that I have, where I can take her to a movie, "and she feels comfortable leaning on my shoulder the whole movie. I never want her to feel that I do not want her around, because I do. My boys adore her and miss her like crazy when she is gone. As they have all gotten older, of course they fight like any siblings would, but we are a family and we are not complete without our Kaili.

Something I wanted to clarify too is that I know and understand I am not Kaili's Mother. I did not carry her in my belly for 9 months, I did not endure labor and give birth to her. Being a mom myself that is not something that I would ever take away from Kaili's Mom. That is her right to have and to claim. My relationship is completely different with Kaili and that is how it should be. As I am a different person in her life. I do not want to make anyone feel like I am saying the Mom and 2nd mom should be the exact same, because they aren't. I am just saying we need to make sure to open our hearts up to the idea of someone else who loves and care for our child, and has their best interests at heart just like the birth parent would.

I am a nurturer by heart, I want to take care of people. I treat my boys friends, as if they were my kids when they are at our house playing. I want them to be safe, I want them to be happy. Life is so hard as it is, isn't it nice in split families that you do have another type of support system if you let it be that way.

 I always wanted a daughter and 4 kids. With Kaili I get my daughter and instant friend. I hope that as she grows up she will know and truly feel how much I have loved her and will continue to keep on loving her every day. I love when she asks me stuff like, " Mom, when I was 3 what did I like to do? Or what was my favorite thing to eat?" And I know all of these answers. A secret fear I always had in my heart, was when Kaili was little and really into princesses, i.e. Cinderella and her story and the "evil wicked step mother" I always thought Kaili would figure out that I was a step mother and I would wonder if she would worry about me being mean like those in the stories. I honestly don't think she ever even put those things together. I remember telling her this once like a year ago, and she said " Yeah Mom, that never even crossed my mind" and it made me so happy.

 The day she turns 18 and we stop paying child support, doesn't really mean a damn thing to me. Because we will always take care of her and want to help her, just as we would with our boys. When I started dating Tyler, I was nervous to know he had a child and I would have to deal with an ex-wife. I knew there were be hard days ahead. But I know that my life would not be complete without Kaili in it. She teaches me to chill out and not be so stressed all the time, she is my electronic helper, and she is imaginative, artistic and creative. I cannot wait to see what is in store for her future.

And I know, I am just some ordinary girl, I don't have any amazing degree's or well known credits, to my words. I have experience, and I have love in my heart. My humble advice for people struggling with being in a split family would be this: Make that child feel like they belong, that they are a part of two families that love them unconditionally no matter what. Work as hard as you can to get a long with both couples, because it really makes life so much more enjoyable when we are happy and let go of the past! Life is TOO short to dwell on past heartache and anger. At one point there were TWO people who loved each other enough to bring a baby into the world. Maybe their love was broken, but that broken love should have no bearing whatsoever on a child. Work together, keep your child's best interest at heart and I promise you everything will be okay! Not perfect, but definitely better than okay!

A new Chapter in the life of the Fankhauser's

   Lately I have been in a reminiscing mood. The baby of our family is starting first grade next week. What the what? This means all day school basically from 8 am to 4 pm Mon- Thurs and until 2:00 on Fridays. I have asked myself over and over how many times I have guiltily wished for this day. "My life will be so much easier when all my kids are in school full time" and the truth is, it will. But it also opens up a new chapter of life for our family. 

   I grew up wanting this perfect planned out life. I would have a High School sweetheart, get married at 21, have 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys,of course all 2 years apart. I would be a stay at home mom, my house would be immaculate, I would never get frustrated at being a mom, because that is what I was meant to do. 

   Instead I got married at 21, divorced at 23. Remarried at 24, with a bonus cute little 2 year old  Kaili. Dealt with the heartache of losing our first son, and then had 2 more boys. So you see I did get my 4 kids, 3 boys and 1 girl, just not in the conventional way. 

  

 Instead of going to college right out of  High School, I started working for my dad at his company McDermott Company & Associates. Each year I learned new skills and information and it helped form me into the woman I am today. Luckily for me I needed that job especially as I was living on my own in a townhouse. When I married Tyler I knew I wanted kids, he was working full time, and going to school full time. I knew that I would still have to work and bring in some sort of income for us to continue with Ty's education and allow me to have kids. My dad allowed me to work 3 days a week once I started having kids and it has been a HUGE blessing in our lives. 

   Last year when Hudson was in Kindergarten my schedule was all over the place. Luckily I have amazing people in my life and friends and family were able to help me out when they could with watching Hudson, but last year Hudson spent a lot of time with me at work. I will miss my mini me, my little side kick. I know he is so ready for first grade, and I know in a lot of ways I am ready for it too. As a teenager all I wanted to do was grow up. It makes my 35 year old self sad, because I was in such a hurry for the future, I missed out on some good things that were happening to me in the now. I want my kids to enjoy their child hood, hang out to it for as long as they can, while also learning how to become capable, independent, kind, smart, honest, caring human beings. Is that too much to ask? Ha! Ha! 

   I guess I just needed to tell myself, that it's okay to be excited for change, it's okay to be sad too. Life doesn't slow down for any of us, and all we can really do is buckle in and hang on for this beautiful, achingly wonderful thing we call life! 

I am woman....hear me roar.....

 For those of you who know me, know that writing is my art. I feel I can write out my emotions and pain, frustrations or happiness, better than I can vocalize them sometimes. I have been pretty open about the fact that when I was 33 I had a full hysterectomy, meaning all the goods were removed including both of my ovaries. I did this for many reasons, but the main 2 were that I had endometriosis and poly cystic ovarian disorder. These 2 things combined meant about 3 out of 4 weeks every month, I was in a lot of pain. Lots. I felt like knives were stabbing my abdomen on a daily basis.  Also because of the two issues mentioned above, I  was told I had insulin resistance. Which meant my body didn't want to process insulin correctly and thinks storing my fat is SUPER fun. Yay me.

Two years prior to my hysterectomy, I went in for a " smaller" surgery to see if this could fix my issues. My Dr. drilled...yes isn't that a fun word? Drilled my ovaries, so that all of the cysts surrounding them could pop, and also cut out as much endometriosis as she could. This helped me for about 2 months, and I was back to square one.

   One option to prolong an actual hysterectomy was to constantly take birth control, so that cysts wouldn't form. That was all well and good for awhile, but taking birth control with no break, caused me to have weight gain, and lets just say my emotions were on " high alert" at all times.

  Finally I had, had enough. For me, the aftermath after the hysterectomy has been rough. I realized I couldn't fall asleep until it was long past 2 am. I was getting major anxiety, where I didn't have that before. I felt irritable, crazy and out of control all the time. I managed the best I could. Last October I decided I needed some help, for my mental state of mind. I got it. That seemed to help a bit. I was unhappy with the way I looked and felt. I needed to start exercising more consistently. I joined a gym. I went every day at 4:30 am. Small Progress, nothing major. In March of this year I started at an elite training facility and did a 12 week program. I felt better, and lost inches, but the weight, is glued to my body and doesn't want to let go!

   Inside I could feel myself breaking, slowly losing pieces that I have worked so hard for. Why? Why is it always a constant battle. I decided to go to a place called Bio Restoration and did a full blood work up, I want to get to a place where I  can be me. Who am I though? I am a mom, step mom,  wife, an employee,  daughter,  friend,  singer,  people pleaser,  reader. I am a person who loves to watch TV and movies, and I don't care if you judge me for it. I love everything that there is to love about the fall. I love to bake and cook. I love Christmas so much. Playing games with my siblings is one of my favorite things. Disneyland is a happy place for me. I love to help people and organize projects. I want to write a book. There are so many things that define my very being other than my struggles and I feel like that is something we all need to remember.

 I met with the Dr this past week about my results and of course as you probably guessed; found out I am a big ole MESS as far as hormones and levels and all that fun stuff is concerned. We discussed a path to get back to where I should be. However it won't be an easy road getting there. I feel like a crazy person right now. My head is barely above water and I am treading every second of every day. BUT the silver lining is I can and will get through this. I am going to keep fighting and I know one day I will wake up and feel like ME again.

I found this quote and I really liked it. Women are beautiful, vibrant, unique and smart. We have so much love and light to give. Amongst all the rain and fog that sometimes fills my heart and soul I know that I matter, and I am worth something and so are all of you.

So my kids like sports.......so what?

Lately I have been seeing a lot of articles about "kids feel too much pressure to play sports" or  "parents are making their kids play competitive sports" I wonder if all the people who have written those articles, ever stopped to wonder, " What if some kids DO want to play sports year round?" One of my older son's first words was ball. Before he was even 2 years old he enjoyed watching the golf channel and looking at golf magazines on his grandpa's lap. He would get his little red feet car, and pretend it was a golf cart, wear his big sisters pink flowered winter glove as his golf glove, and use her barbie house as a target for the golf hole. He took practice swings, without being told to. Playing sports was built into his DNA, the essence of who he is.

 Karson started T-ball 3 months before he turned 3. He was still in diapers folks. Why did we start this so early you ask? Well, because in February he would be outside in the snow, hitting off a T and running pretend bases. THIS, my friends, is stuff you can't teach, it's the stuff that my son was born with.  

When Hudson was born he wanted to do everything Karson did, but he had to work a little harder at it, and prove himself to well...himself. Hudson wants to be the best he can be.  To me, that instills good work ethic for the future for every obstacle and trial they will surely face in their life. Now as parents, did we do everything perfect? No. We learned the hard way, that at 3 years old Hudson wasn't quite ready for T-Ball like big brother was, nor was he ready for fall soccer. Fast forward to when Hudson turned 5 and he was all in.  Kids are different, which is what makes each and every one of them so unique. 

We go to the park in February to practice hitting, pitching, catching pop flys. And it's not because my husband or I suggest it, it's the boys. They get the itch come February, they want the feel of the dirt beneath their cleats. We pack up the car with all the gear, fill up water bottles, snacks and drive to a park. I sit in the dug out while it rains, snows, or is blowing so much dirt in my face I can't see. My husband pitches to them, warms up their arms playing catch and his eyes shine with pride. My boys WANT to play sports. They WANT to practice. Do I feel like this is ruining their childhood? No, I do not. I feel it is helping them grow into characteristics they may not have learned otherwise. Some of those being; how to lose with dignity, how to win with grace. Listening to your coaches and respecting them. Treating your team mates and others with kindness. 

This year Karson started on a new baseball team. His coaches always tell him to tell the umpires thank you at the end of each game, and we have taught Karson for years to say thank you to his coaches after each game. He has learned that if you are pitching and you beam a kid at the plate,  you walk over to first base and ask him if he is okay. You cheer on your team mates when they are at bat, or in the field. You work together and you contribute to something that is more than just about you. 

One thing about sports I find crucial is that it forces kids to believe in their abilities, and themselves. Kids want to make their parents happy, the coaches happy, impress their friends. And sometimes I feel like the kids put an immense amount of pressure on themselves. I am constantly saying to my kids, " I do not care if you strike out, I only care if you tried your best." I want them to understand I don't demand perfection, but I do appreciate effort, good attitude, and trying. I want them to have confidence, to believe in what they are capable of, and to also be humble. 

Kids are resilient and so strong under pressure. I watch these boys, playing in their positions and standing at the plate, balls heading straight towards them and they know what to do, they are prepared. It is amazing to me. Sometimes we have slumps, and to get out of those slumps we change our habits, or we change what we are doing in our life. Karson was going through a hitting slump,. Every morning before he turned on the X Box or looked at his kindle, he put on his batting gloves went downstairs to the basement and did 50 practice swings off the T. Understanding we have to keep trying in the face of adversity and not giving up, is again something I feel will only strengthen kids into becoming good people of society. 

Sunday afternoons it's " Dad, can you play catch with me?" or " Dad, lets set up the bases and work on pickles" This is all by my children's choice. Now I understand that there are those parents, that do expect certain things from their kids during sports, or that there are kids that DO feel pressured into sports and don't really want to play, and for them I  hope those parents can see them, really see their kid and what that kid really wants. 

But for me personally and my own situation,  I am tired of society making me feel like a bad parent, because my kids play baseball basically year round, golf in the summer, and play basketball in the winter. This is what they want to do.

Do my kids do homework? Yes. Do they read 20 mins or more daily? Most the time,yes. Do they have other interests? Absolutley. Do I understand the odds of my kids becoming professional athletes are slim? Of course I do. 

We love going to the zoo, bowling together as a family, camping, watching movies, playing Monopoly. My husband enjoys playing the XBox with them. Bottom line we are a well rounded family who really enjoys sports, and that's okay. 

So I am pledging here and now that I don't care any more, if society thinks I am a bad parent who focuses on the wrong things and what not.  I am proud of my kids and who they are on and off the field. Karson is cool under pressure, quiet, observant, kind and hard working. Hudson is vibrant, and outgoing, determined and strong. I want my kids to succeed in all things,and for me in this moment they are headed in the right direction and I couldn't be prouder. 

T

Timing is everything....

Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. I believe in timing, like the song says " When the stars line up, and you catch a break, people think you're lucky, but you know its grace, it can happen so fast, or a little bit late, timing is everything" Tyler and I met before we were both married to our first spouses, but the timing wasn't right, 3 years later when the stars lined up, the timing was right, and we got married. I never thought I would be married at 21 and then divorced at 23, and then remarried almost exactly a year later. I never thought I would get pregnant at 25 and lose a baby at 25. I never thought I could run a 5K and I did at 28. I never thought I would get a hysterectomy at age 33, and deal with all the fun stuff associated with that at such a young age. 

As a teenager I was skinny, I, of course thought I was fat, but that  wasn't true. I had some highly abstracted view of myself and the way I looked. Why? A few things to come mind. When I was in 8th grade, at the age of 13, I was getting ready to go on stage to sing in the school talent show, a "friend" of mine, handed me a note, having no idea what this note said I opened it up. On it, it said, "Do you think BreeAnn is fat?" the answer was " She is a little on the chunky side" , the answer was from a boy I had a crush on all year. This was over 21 years ago and to this DAY that note still has an affect on me. It shouldn't; but it does. At the tender age of 13 my whole world flipped upside down, and on the inside I was crumbling into a million tiny pieces. It took me years to build those walls back up inside of me. A lot of the choices I made in my life from that day forward circled back to that note. Granted I stand by my choices and take full responsibility for everything that has happened in my life. It should be noted that 3 years later, said boy apologized for that note, as he saw how I was affected by it, said girl, probably to this day has no idea how much that note broke me. 

I started doing stupid things to my body, working out WAY too much for a teenage girl, eating less and less, taking lots of aspirin and Tylenol, because of all the headaches I was getting from lack of food. Threw up for awhile as well. Lost my High School love, because I was too messed up. I don't blame him for wanting out, I relied on him for my own happiness, which is something I have now learned  you cannot do. 

We have to create our own happiness, other people can MAKE us happy, but they cannot KEEP us happy we have to do that for ourselves. In my first marriage, once I started taking birth control, I gained a lot of weight and quickly. I also was unhappy, due to choices I had made and I was spiraling out of control. In the 2nd  year  of my first marriage  I started working out again and losing the weight. He still left me, but in the end that was one of the best things that has happened to me. I then met up with  Tyler again. I was so nervous for him to see me the first time, because originally when he had seen me I was skinnier . However when I saw him for our " 2nd first time" I could see it in his eyes that he thought I was just as beautiful as I was 3 years ago. And my protected hurting heart, melted away a layer, and I felt that maybe, just maybe I was actually good enough, pretty enough for someone no matter what size I was. 

Tyler and I have been married for almost 11 years, and through all of my ups and downs, weight gains, weight losses, pregnancies, diets, exercise fads, he has loved me no matter what. Through all of our trails, arguments, frustrations with each other he has never once made me feel less. 

Since my hysterectomy and messing with my hormones, it has been incredibly hard for me to lose weight. I was starting to feel anxious and unhappy and angry all the time. I didn't like it. In 2016 I would on my mental state of mind. And now in  2017 I decided I had to take control of the physical aspects in my life. I am pretty good at taking care of everything else, giving, helping ,loving others, except for loving myself. I decided to write more blog posts about my life,  also my kids and things that are happening, but also about me. Because I matter. I mean something to people. I am worth it. 

So for fun, here are a few fun facts about me. Bonnie BreeAnn McDermott Fankhauser 

1. Some of my all time favorite movies are: The Fugitive, Remember the Titans, You've Got Mail

2. To Kill A Mocking Bird is my favorite book 

3. I have sang at Disneyland, Knots Berry Farm, the Disney Land Hotel, and sang the National Anthem at a Bee's Game.

4.I used to hate nuts in anything, but I am now a big fan of chocolate covered almonds, or peanuts. I still do not like nuts in ice cream.

5. I love the RED star burst.

6. My food guilty pleasures are ice cream, shakes, cookies, Pasta, Mexican food, buttery popcorn

7. I am the worst at doing my own make up and hair.

8. I really hope to write a book one day and have it published.

9. I could read all.day.long.

10. I am a good swimmer. 

11. My favorite color is pink. 

12. I love the Beach Boys.

13. I hope to have a cabin in Heber one day.

14.  I have no confidence in my dancing skills or lack thereof

15. I am not afraid to speak in public

16. I usually eat an apple a day

17. I have had my ear drums rupture multiple times

18. I love the smell of lilacs

19. I have never been to Hawaii or Europe and hope to go someday

20. I have always wanted dark red hair.

Sometimes it's okay to brag about our kids...

  This summer we made a big change for Karson and took a chance to play with a different baseball team. As parents, you want to do the right thing for your children. Sometimes those answers are easy to find and sometimes they are a little bit harder. Change is always scary, the unknown is a hard thing to plan for, but we took a path and it led us in the right direction. I have often called Karson my "2nd Angel Baby" because he calmed my wounded heart in dealing with my loss of Easton. Karson was the BEST baby, hardly ever cried, took long naps and was the sweetest boy. At night,  I would rock him in the chair and let the tears fall freely down my face, because I felt so lucky to have something to hold in my arms, but also felt an emptiness inside and the loss of my first son. As Karson grew we knew he would love sports, he wanted any type of ball he could get his hands on. Karson also grew into a genuinely kind, caring, soft-hearted kid. He thinks of others and constantly tries to do the right thing.

   Karson came home from school last week, and he had the " look" on his face, you know the look of you are holding in tears. I walked up and gave him a hug and he just started crying. I asked him what was wrong, well that day he had gotten dressed in the dark, and didn't realize his pants were on backwards. ( They are athletic pants, black, so it's easy to not notice) He was at athletics at his school and they were picking teams, one kid from his class said really loudly in front of everyone, " We don't want backwards pants on our team."  Then later that day, kids in his class said to him" I am so glad you don't have that job anymore for our class, because you spell everyone names wrong all the time" Yes these are little things, but to Karson he takes them to heart, and feels so badly about himself. I told him to brush it off and that kids just say stupid things sometimes, and one day it won't matter to you what others think, because you will have worked hard for things you want, and you will stay a good person.
   I told him I wanted to read him something to remind him that it doesn't matter what other kids say or think about him....back to the baseball, in November we went to St George for a baseball tournament. Karson's new team had practiced a few times together but that was it. So we all weren't sure what to expect. The first day they lost 4-3 and 12-11. Two very close games. The team struggled with hitting and confidence. Saturday was a gorgeous day and they won their first game 18-9, their 2nd game and Karson had the best game he ever played. There is an app called Game Changer and you can look at stats, follow games etc. After the game, we read Karson what Game Changer had summarized the game with.
" Two pitchers joined forces to throw a no-hitter for Rizers 8U in an 18-0 victory in 4 innings over the Utah County Vipers on Saturday. Karson brought the heat against the Utah Country Vipers during his outing. Karson held the Vipers hit less over 3 innings, allowed no earned runs, walked none and struck out 8. Karson showed his talents on both sides of the diamond with a strong game on the rubber and at the plate. Karson racked up 4 RBI's on 2 hits for Rizers, He singled in the 2nd inning and had a home run in he 3rd inning"
   As parents I think we like to brag and talk about our kids accomplishments, because we see the tears, sweat, pain, joy, happiness everything they throw into their talents and it amazes us. Karson struggles with Severs  Disease in his feet. After a basketball game he can barely walk because his heels and ankles are sore to the touch. You would never know it while he is out on the court or on the baseball field. He fights through the pain and gives his teammates, coaches and himself the best he can. Although being a mom can be so overwhelming, frightening, nerve wracking and frustrating at times, I am so thankful to God for putting his trust in me in allowing me to raise my children. I love you my Karson Maddux, don't let anyone ever make you feel less than what you are and you are a amazing!  

Hudson Ty....Pre-School Days

 Oh this little boy of mine, who is not so little anymore. Where did the past 3 years go? Hudson is our little spit fire, sweet heart, sassy, tough, fun, loving, kind boy. Our family wouldn't be complete without him.